I’ve lost all hope, my life. is worthless, i am worthless. at least thats what they make me feel. they make me feel useless, as i’ve been called before. All i want is my girlfriends support, for her to tell me she loves me and she wants me to get better, but i don’t feel supported or loved by her. i feel like a burden, to everyone. it’s better I remove myself. before i make life worse. yeah it’ll sadden people, but i’ll just be another dead solider. thats okay they wont miss me, they hate me anyways. only reason i have is my mother. otherwise, i’d have nothing to hold on to. i dont wanna hurt her, i’m alive to keep her going. i dont want my suicide on her hands. it will ruin her. and for that. I live. for her.
I don’t know why I do the things I do . Like I don’t know what’ll happen anyways.. I’m so stupid for having hope. Thinking this one time I’d get something like ” you know . I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you” thank god I’m not holding y breath, I would’ve died & thinking about it. That doesn’t sound to bad. My whole life has been full of No’s. I feel so worthless. Everyone around me makes me feel like I’m not worth anything . Why do I love these people ? Because we accept the love we think we deserve.